I’m So Confused!

It seems like I can’t pin down what direction to head in.

At first, it all seems so simple.

Problem: You need to get back on your feet so you can regain your independence.

Solution: Get a second job so you can make enough money to regain your independence.

Then the other problem is reliable transportation. That takes more money. I’ll actually need that before I can get the second job or I won’t be able to make it from one to the other.

So the other solution would be using all of the little savings I have to get a vehicle, then maybe I can get one full-time job that will support the extra bills I’ll have.

My current living situation is shaky. Before my life went to hell, my entire focus was on moving and now that doesn’t seem possible.

My decisions are also affected by my dream to go back to school. Which I can’t because I can’t reclaim all of my transcripts because of a debt of almost $5,000 that I owe to my last school. I want to go back more than anything now, but I keep having to push my dream back.

It seems so hard to stay focused because of everything that’s going on in my life.

I need a life plan that I can update weekly or daily. Right now, I only have some short-term and long-term goals.

  • Get a full-time job
  • Get an apartment or buy a home
  • Get a car
  • Pay off school debt
  • Go back to university

Even so, this list doesn’t really contain my heart and soul. I really want to work on my crafts and creating videos. I really want work on creating wedding packages, but in this environment, especially with it being summer, it seems so difficult. I have no personal space. It’s hard for me to sit alone to create without creating tension.

I heard somewhere if we don’t create, we die. I feel like that in a melodramatic sense. I hope one day my creations will be able to help support my other goals.

I think I’ll find or create something to help me track these goals on a daily basis. I feel better now.





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